leishybakker posted at Instagram:

Since my lung transplant, I don’t feel like the same person who I was before . It’s not just my body that changed, it’s my sense of self. I survived something monumental, something that saved my life, and yet I grieve the version of me that existed before. The old
‘me” feels distant now, almost like a stranger I once knew well.
I move through the world differently. My body feels borrowed, rebuilt, and strangely unfamiliar. There’s gratitude, deep undeniable gratitude, but it sits right next to confusion, sadness, and a quiet sense of loss that’s hard to explain without feeling guilty for having it at all. People see survival and strength. What they don’t always see is the disorientation of waking up in a life and body that no longer fits the way it used to.
I’m trying to figure out who I am now, without the familiar markers that once defined me.
My limits have changed. My fears have changed. Even my dreams feel different. I’m learning myself again in a completely foreign way not by choice, but by necessity.Some days I feel strong and proud of how far I’ve come. Other days I feel lost, like I’m floating somewhere between who I was and who I’m meant to become. But slowly, I’m realising that this space in between isn’t just emptiness, it’s also possibility.
This version of me isn’t worse, just different and different is harder than I ever expected.
I’m still here, still searching, still piecing together an identity that includes survival without being swallowed by it. I don’t have all the answers, but I’m learning that losing yourself doesn’t mean you’re gone forever, sometimes it means you’re in the slow, painful, courageous process of becoming someone new.
Still growing into this life that was given to me nearly 8years ago and maybe, with time, this new version of me won’t feel so foreign.
Maybe she’ll feel like home once again. 🌹🫁❤️
• #cysticfibrosis #survivorstrong #cfwarrior #OrganDonation #doublelungtransplant

Source: Instagram,
Account-Name: leishybakker

Created on: 2026-02-10 02:42:06